There are times in the world of investing when a relatively short period of time can seem like an eternity. Like all of those prop trading desks on the day of the Facebook IPO as they struggled to defend $38 as the closing bell rang.
In the case of the 2012 CNBC Stock Draft, we speculated that a photo finish was possible. That was only five days ago. Joshua “Reformed Broker” Brown had lagged the field for months — and had made the classic dramatic charge, dashing from last place to leading the field coming down the stretch.
To his credit, in his own words, “Five days is a long time.”
As it turned out, we could have used a Timelapse camera as our Reformed Broker’s entry (Research In Motion) had a really, really tough week — a Waterloo so to speak. In the meantime, Google stayed strong, carrying Reggie “No Glue” Middleton to victory.
We don’t know if there’s any truth to the rumor that a testy Herb Greenberg handed Josh a rose as he sulked into the sunset. Or if Jim Cramer really did give him a roll of Lifesavers and a Mean Joe Greene jersey.
Joshua Brown (JB): This is tough. I was serious about five days being a long time. But I had no idea it could be this long.
Herb Greenberg (Testy): No doubt. We were a little worried that you might go from first-to-worst in less than a week.
Jim Cramer (Booyah): House of Pain. Waterloo, baby. RIMM shot.
JB: OK, OK… but you and Herb need to accept some culpability here. Check out the twenty stocks offered up as the smorgasbord for the draft. Only five of them beat the market over the last year.
Booyah: You don’t have to out run the bull or bear. You just have to out run the other participating prey.
Testy: Touche. But you guys left a lot of potential on the cutting room floor.
Booyah: Now you know how a Lightning Round feels, huh?
Bill Ackman: Gotta feel bad for the young guys like Josh here, getting trampled. This was all going down during my discussions with debate moderator Wapner. So I called my friend, Carl to see if we could step in …
Carl Icahn: Yeah, thanks Bill. I looked it over and called Loeb and about ten other hedge fund managers to see if we could boost that RIMM noble steed. I thought about selling Netflix, Chesapeake and my Herbalife position to see if I could drum up some dry powder. In fact, I thought about joining you and going short on Herbalife for a little extra risk capital.
Ackman: Thanks, Buddy. We ran the numbers by Einhorn and Nate Silver. Turns out not even Punxsatawney Phil wanted a piece of this action.
Icahn: Yeah. I’ll give you a call next week and we can kick around some other opportunities.
Scott Wapner: Thanks, guys. I’ll set up a conference call and we can discuss and share with the investing world.
Testy: Thanks for pronouncing Herbalife correctly.
Icahn: Did I mention that I had Netflix (NFLX) all the way here? Do I get a trophy or some kind of prize?
Najerian: Do I get any credit for passing Josh in the final days with Starbucks?
Icahn: I repeat. Netflix was mine.
Scott Wapner: Bully.
JB: We’ll gift wrap some Herbalife products on your behalf and send them over to Ackman. For now, congratulations Reggie. Time for a rematch?
Noble Steed Final Standings
1. Reggie “BoomBust” Middleton (GOOG)
2. Pete Najerian (SBUX)
3. Joshua Brown (RIMM)
4. Abigail Dolittle (DELL)
5. James Altucher (AAPL)
6. Guy Adami (RSH)
7. Paul Hickey (JCP)